Biblical Homemaking: Life in my 30s
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Homemaking has become increasingly more difficult.
According to research conducted in 2015, the Pew Research Center stated “56% of all working parents with children under age 18 say the work-family balancing act is difficult”.
The research focused on families where both Mom and Dad worked full time yet their challenge of the work-family balancing act is not a new phenomenon. What is homemaking? Is the balance even achieveable? How does one achieve Biblical Homemaking? I know that I am not alone because these questions arise at every Bible study and coffee outing with fellow mothers and believers. What are we to do?
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Personal Reflection: Life in my 30s
On February 1st of 2020, I will turn 35.
Over the years, I have learned to use my birthday as a celebration and time of reflection.
I am thankful for another opportunity to live out God’s glory through my personal story of redemption and renewal.
This year, I would like to reflect on Biblical Homemaking. How it is another way to grow closer to God and pour into the disciples, my children, living under the same roof as my husband and I.
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01 | God called YOU to homemaking
My upbringing taught me to pursue education and find a career. I have a college degree and traveled the globe pursuing my own ambitions for the glory of the Lord. I was quite content to get married, raise children, and work full-time throughout it all. BUT, God had other plans.
My husband suggested that I become a stay-at-home-mother before we had our first child and I balked at the comment! What!?
However, the Lord softened my heart as our first child grew in my belly until the thought of staying home became a welcoming duty. However, I still wrestled and continue to struggle in this job. Which is why the story of Moses always resonates deep within my broken and insecure heart because God chose him – a murderer and man of doubt who lacked eloquent speech to become a mighty leader.
Exodus 4:10-13
Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you ahve spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind” Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
He was chosen not because he was perfect and had acquired ALL the skills necessary to accomplish the task of freeing God’s chosen people.
NOT AT ALL.
He possesed something far greater. He possessed faith.
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02 | Moses’ was called to lead even though he objected
Moses was rescued from death by Pharoh’s daughter. He lived a privileged life and was trained up to be the next leader.
He chose to deny this life of sin and lies by aligning himself with God’s people; slaves.
Ok, wait! He was given the opportunity of a lifetime! He had it all! Yet, he chose to deny himself and live a life of persecution, pain, and longsuffering.
Yes he did.
A life spent rejecting what the world views as important and worthy; a life that is counter-cultural to today’s society always seems to cause confusion and judgement. Moses rejected the cultural norms of slavery to the point that he sinned in anger by committing murder! Then to escape judgement, he left the country to wander the desert as a shepard. (Read his story here)
Next Ruler of Egypt that becomes a Shepard in the desert.
BUT WAIT! Moses became the triumphant leader of God’s chosen people at 80 years old by leading them out of slavery into the promise land. Hallelujah!
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03 | Your Faith walk and Biblical Homemaking work together
Great! But what does Moses have to do with Biblical Homemaking???
Everything! A Christ-filled life is a a life lived through faith not qualifications. We can get caught up with trying to impress others or entice them with all the fancy things we have accomplished but it is all for nothing in regards to kingdom work. My striving for excellence in womanhood, motherhood, work, and my marriage is like filthey rags – it counts for nothing! My treasures are the ones stored in the heavenly kingdom.
“All of my righteous acts are like filthey rags;
eventually I will shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind, my sins, will sweep me away.”
-Isaiah 64:6
(personal paraphrase)
Moses knew this and lived this out as he wandered the desert for 80 years!
Moses lived a life fearing God not man.
Moses lived a life trusting God not himself (most of the time).
Moses lived a life serving others not his own selfish ambitions.
The Old Testament is full of marvelous stories of ordinary men living out extraordinary lives trusting God not themselves. Serving God not man. It is encouragment to this weary mother’s heart that she does NOT have to be perfect or perfectly trained up in homemaking to be loved and accepted by her Savior. AMEN!
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04 | What is Homemaking?
Typically, it means:
- Typically, a married woman
- Works full-time; homemaking duties is a full-time career
- Creates a welcoming home life for husband and children
- Keeping the house
- Bearing children
- Helping her husband
- Traditionally, does NOT work outside the home for monetary compensation
- Traditionally, mothers would train up daughters to help as soon as they were old enough
Technically, I qualify for this job description but it feels empty and daunting. My mother worked full-time as did my grandmother so I wasn’t trained up to be a homemaker which is why I can feel Moses when I say “Pardon your servant Lord, please send someone else.”
(Hey Mom, I love you and we have discussed this at length so you know where my heart stands on this issue and how blessed I feel to be following Christ as a mother. Thank you.)
However, I find great encouragment that my “lack of qualifcations” does NOT revoke my job as wife, mom, and homemaker. The Lord will also help me to speak and teach me what to say and do. He is the almighty GOD! Hallelujah, I do NOT have to rely on my own strength to do this job.
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05 | What is Biblical Homemaking?
Moses lived by faith not his qualifications. Motherhood is an endurance race that cannot be won with righteous acts or pretty living rooms where one is constantly striving to put up a facade that “everything is perfect and great”. Ok, let me backtrack here. I am not saying that a well put together home is wrong because it isn’t! However, if your desire is to portray perfection and please others then that is not a faith-based Biblical Homemaking life.
The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 considers a field and then buys it. An industrious woman that pursued business opportunities while caring for her husband, children and home not her own selfish ambitions. A life of humility.
Descriptions of Virtuous women of the Bible:
1. Man should not be alone and God provided a helper FIT just for him – US! Genesis 2:18
2. Women are reflections of the word of God that can be seen through the art of homemaking by loving their husbands and children, being self-controlled, pure, working at home, being kind, and submissive to their own husbands. Titus 2:4-8
3. A working woman and worshiper of God, Lydia, was a seller purple goods furthermore she opened her heart and home to Paul. Acts 16:14-15
4. And the Proverbs 31 woman, the woman that a even a King should pursue, had a heart for family, work and kingdom-mindedness who worked diligently with willing hands to provide for her home which included her husband, children, and maidservants. She was dutiful and industrious without fear of the future. She was considered blessed. Proverbs 31
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Biblical Homemaking in 2020
The data shows that households with a mother who stays home has DECLINED to 26 percent from 46 percent since 1970.
As a mother who made a choice to stay home, to forgo going into the workforce full-time during the developmental years of raising my children, and was raised by parents who worked full-time, I do feel a little bit unprepared for the job BUT it isn’t a narrative that I have to continue to live out.
I know that I am not alone. I have spoken with many other women who have also chosen this route yet feel as though they are barely treading water.
But there is hope to be found.
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Education
1. Equip yourself with Godly wisdom through reading God’s word. It will strengthen your heart, mind, and soul for this job. Do it daily and dig deep when weary. Find a journal here.
2. Seek out mentors. Nothing beats having a Titus 2 woman in your life that will encourage and exhort you to be a better version of yourself.
3. Find cleaning routines or habits that work for you. We are attempting minimalism through some deep decluttering because if it is “I” who manages the home then it needs to suit my personality type. A cluttered home creates a cluttered mind and heart which for me is hard to manage because I am very creative and driven visually. Less inventory in the home means it will be easier to manage and provide margin to do what matters.
Community
1. Your church is the place to look for community like joining a MOPS group. I was once told that “Nobody can read your mind. You have to share with others for them to know you are lonely.” I have struggled with an introverted and people pleasing personality for years (big shocker for some of you reading) so sharing my heart in the beginning was a struggle. I would advise you to please share your feelings with others and try to have a teachable spirit to overcome any hurts or hangups in your life.
2. Join a Bible study or attend your church’s weekly gatherings or find another church to attend during the week if yours does not offer one. We have several families that join our Wednesday night service since we offer babysiting and child organizations then parents can dig into God’s word.
3. Build your OWN community of friends. Be the doer in the area that creates fellowship over loneliness. Community over competition. Joy over anxiety.
4. If a physical community is not possible, join a Facebook group for moms or an online community that will support you.
Self-Discipline
1. Change your mindset from seeking “balance” to seeking “discipline”. I cannot offer much more advice since, I too, am struggling to find the discipline to “make our home” a haven and refuge.
2. Determine in your heart to be better. To do it now. To be better.
3. Declutter your home! If the inventory in your home is so overwhelming that you cannot begin to undertake the burden then get rid of it!
4. Do the action then the feelings will follow. Start washing the dishes even if you don’t feel like it. Make it a game with yourself and/or your kids. Set a timer to get it done then race to beat it! Play praise music and dance your way through the chores. JUST DO IT!
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Run the race of Biblical Homemaking
A verse to live by during this season of endurance racing.
I was so stimulated by this subject matter of Biblical Homemaking that a family keepsake film danced across my heart for days. It is something that I wanted to share with you and my children when they are older.
My personality may be unique to me but my tendencies and dependencies are not. I know there are other Christian moms out there who struggle with organization, discipline, order, and structure yet they excel in multiple other areas. As a creative, I tend to thrive in chaos. Living off of the adrenaline and caffiene needed to sustain this go-go-go lifestyle. However, my heavenly Father is a God of order and structure, so I have chosen to live by Hebrews 12.
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Hebrews 12:1 says:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,
and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
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Conclusion
Today, you may be a full-time working mom or a full-time stay at home mom or something in between like me, I would like to offer up a prayer of encouragement for you on this journey in motherhood. You are not alone.
The race has been marked out of you. You were chosen to be the mother of your adorable babies and the wife to your husband. If the narrative in your head has been leading you astray then take captive your thoughts or any argument against the knowledge of God, and make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
My hope is to transfer hope into YOUR heart. Let me know how I can help.
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#LegacyLoveLetter
Dear littles,
Staying home with you four has been the biggest challenge and most rewarding job of my life. Yes, there were times of difficulty but amidst it all I chose JOY in the journey. I chose you over my career out of obedience to the Lord and would do it again 1000 times over.
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Hi! I’m Holly, and at Knitting Our Story, I embrace the fact that you can love your new smart device while also living a full and intentional life; you do not have to choose one over the other. If you desire to use technology as a workplace resource, a fancy new toy, or want to utilize it for creative resources, I’m here to support you with why you should and how it can be done.
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